I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
