he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
