I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
