I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
