Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
