i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
