is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
