Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
