dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
