if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
