my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
