living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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