i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
