Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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