You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
