So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I checked into jail on foursquare
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
