We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
