That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
