there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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