dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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