Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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