In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Randomize
