the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Shame - the story of my life.
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