Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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