I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
