these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
