You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
