i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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