omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
