Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
