What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
