You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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