It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
last night I used snow as a chaser
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
