yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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