Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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