So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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