I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
