Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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