Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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