haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
