My room smells like vodka and shame
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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