Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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