I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
