I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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