what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
