you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
