return my video game
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
