??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
where are you?
Hypothermia
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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