I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
