dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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